SMART NOT CHEAP

AND AWAY WE GO.......

Fri, 05 Nov 2010 09:18:21 -0700

That’s a quote from Jackie Gleason, the greatest who ever lived by the way…and it’s fitting…..he lived life FULLY….my guess is that he probably never saved a dime on anything, but man did he know how to live…….hopefully I’ve give you some fuel to live more fully, without wanting for anything, but without being wasteful for no good reason or insecurity….in other words, to be SMART, NOT CHEAP.

Here we go to summarize what I have been babbling about. Remember, these are MY thoughts, with a little help from Sarah Jessica, always good with money, and my Mom and her Mom, rest their souls, both excellent with money……

KNOWLEDGE—Read everything. My friend yells at his wife for not knowing what she paid for the chicken nuggets at the overpriced store. She has no idea what they cost. REALLY? Know what things cost. Know when things are on sale. READ A NEWSPAPER. And if you can’t figure something out, for god’s sake—-ASK SOMEONE.

AVOID—Avoid people who start sentences with—“You should….”. They are the worst. Embrace people who start sentences with—“You know what worked really well for me was……”. And then, after you have found the deal, be a good citizen of the planet, and PASS IT ON. My friend Denise told me that eggs are 99 cents for 18 at Ralph’s this week. As if I didn’t know that, haha, but god bless her for being the kind of person to tell me about it.

FOOD—Obvious and easy way to save money. Learn to cook. Enjoy cooking. Try new things. And shop well. Use coupons for things that are worthy of using coupons for—(“but there’s never anything that I use that has a coupon”—-Really? You don’t use toilet paper? Dish soap? Your kids don’t eat Cheerios? Really??) Eat out less. Have cocktails with your friends BEFORE you all head to the restaurant, then go over together. Besides being very cool and 1940’s of you, you will also save a FORTUNE at the restaurant. (As a restaurant partner, I am literally shooting myself in the foot by writing that.) Go to that cool restaurant owned by the foreign people who make the amazing dishes of their country. In a huge city, eat at the REAL french bistro, where dinner is $20 instead of the fake french bistro where dinner is $60. And really, please god, don’t be that person who says “you know me, I really NEED my Starbucks.” Be that person who says, “you know me, I can always pay my rent.” Keep your eyes open. In other words, be SMART.

INTEREST—Get out of credit cards. Think of them as ATM’s and ONLY as ATM’s. If you are lucky enough to have a mortgage, look for a better one—-pain in the butt? Not right now it’s not. If you are qualified, there are companies that will kill a small puppy to hold your paper. And for god’s sake, OWN your car, even with payments instead of leasing it, it’s a ridiculous equation.

TRAVEL—Look online FIRST. Figure out what’s important and spend the money on THAT. Does it really matter which company I rent my Ford Taurus from? Doubtful, Hotwire works fine for me. Lastminute.com is great to go on a trip. And if you can wait…call the hotel the day before. This is a rough economy, believe me they have rooms. Fly coach, and use your miles to upgrade—NOT for free flights. (I got yelled at by a reader about my JetBlue card, but believe me, as someone who commutes 3000 miles to work, it’s absolute magic). Stick with the ONE YOU USE. That’s it. NO, don’t have every single one offered, that’s NOT smart. Use what you use, don’t use what you don’t.

CLOTHING—Thrift stores. Sales. Target. Sample sales. Even here in LA, Fred Segal and Barneys have crazy sales once a year for fancy fancy stuff. Wait for them. And loyalty credit cards—-but again, the ONES YOU USE. I DON’T go to Macy’s enough to apply that day and save 10%, and knock points off my credit score. I DO go to the Gap and Banana Republic (and of course the glorious Old Navy), so that credit card is used all the time—-(balance paid in full of course)—-and the savings are RIDONCULOUS……

EVENTS—Throw a party that makes SENSE. Again, NOBODY remembers your monogrammed napkins, they don’t remember the champagne used for your toast, they don’t remember the centerpiece—-they remember that they had an amazing time. Good food, MUSIC, drink, friends, family. For other parties, throw them WITH your friends so you can share the party—assuming your best friends are coming ANYWAY—why not throw the party TOGETHER? We do it all the time, and it’s better for all because of it.

HOUSE—Fix it yourself. If you can. Don’t be scared—as much as I love my plumber, my contractor, my gardener, my painter—-I can do most of it myself, and more importantly, can have fun doing them, especially with my son.

SAVINGS—Save money. In a jar. In a monthly or weekly automatic deduction. I’m talking about 5 dollars. Or 500 dollars. Just do it, whatever amount makes you a)not notice it, and b)allows itself to GROW.

EXTRAS—Do you need all those magazine subscriptions? Really? Ok, then have them. Do you watch all those premium cable channels? Ok, keep them. Do you use all that delivery water” Ok, keep it. I think you get the point…..PARE IT DOWN and you, my friend, will suddenly find yourself with MONEY.

THINKING—NEVER ASSUME SOMEONE ELSE HAS IT BETTER THAN YOU DO. Everyone has their issues. The downturn in the economy may have struck the world with it’s full force, but I come from a business where this has ALWAYS happened to people ALL OF THE TIME. Literally. People in my business make a million dollars one year, and 2,000 dollars the next year. NOT KIDDING. We can all remember the cautionary tale of MC Hammer, made 30 Million one year, and hired 50 people for his “staff”, only to make less than 1 Million the next year after setting up the most insane lifestyle one could imagine. (Bless him, he found god—-and I’m guessing, humility and frugality—-in other words, he got SMART.) And please, I beg of you, vote intelligently, not just because an ad or a family member told you to vote a certain way.

DON’T BE CHEAP—Be that person who CAN pick up the check. Who CAN go on vacation. Who CAN get braces for their kids. I worked with an actor on location for months, we all got “per diem” or spending money, I am guessing around $60 a day, and yet at every meal, he had forgotten his wallet, or was in the bathroom when the check came. That’s not smart. That’s cheap. He was a jackass.

FINALLY—BLESS YOU FOR YOUR STORIES—-They were amazing, TRULY. I was moved to tears by some of them. Keep sharing them with people, especially people you know and not some faceless nut on a computer. We have all seen the person having to move, or sell their car, etc etc, and we had NO idea they were in that situation, and we could have sat with them and helped make a plan. Which brings me to my final point….TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER. That’s why I wrote this, and that’s what I believe in. Again, one man’s opinion.

IF, in any way this has meant something to you, and you find yourself going to Starbucks one less day, or going to the OTHER market to get your vegetables because they are half the price, and you suddenly find yourself with extra money to spend, and want to feel great about yourself and want to THANK ME for writing this…then please, please, please, I beg of you, send a few bucks to the charities that I myself am involved with——

AMFAR

DOCTORS WITHOUT BORDERS

CLARA BARTON DIABETES CENTER AND CAMP JOSLIN in Massachusetts

THE ALLIANCE FOR CHILDRENS RIGHTS in LOS ANGELES

KIDSAVE

HABITAT FOR HUMANITY

And—ANY Charity that helps our neighbors in Haiti

If you are interested, I would print this posting out and keep it for reference, encouragement, or to make fun of the bald little actor, your choice.

I thank you for your stories, hilarious and moving, your support and time, and maybe, just maybe, we will find a way to get a book out.

All the best, WG

GONE, BABY, GONE........

Thu, 04 Nov 2010 07:26:11 -0700

….Excellent film by the way…..

I am here to tell you that TOMORROW, FRIDAY, will be my last posting on SMARTNOTCHEAP….for now.

If you have been reading from the beginning (they are all here if you want to go back and at least see the first one), you know that Sarah Jessica and I were planning to do a book based on these ideas and the themes of this site. We are figuring out what happens next, or if anything happens at all.

I will write more tomorrow, and summarize a lot of stuff, so be prepared to print it out, share it, save it, whatever people do with these things—-TOMORROW. But just know, your stories and the things you have shared with me have been absolutely amazing and inspiring, and I hope I have been somewhat helpful, that was the idea to begin with.

So tune in tomorrow…….I will wrap things up with a nice long one (my god that sounds dirty). And just know, the idea of all of this has been to empower YOU to be smart, save money, not want for anything, and live better—-it’s been a tough road for so many people and I just couldn’t sit by and watch it forever……

Talk tomorrow,

"....AND ALL THE FIXINS......."

Wed, 03 Nov 2010 07:19:00 -0700

Yesterday I did alot of work on the house. First i fixed the fountains outside. They seemed really daunting and scary——who knows anything about a pump for a fountain really? Well it turns out it is rather simple, they were clogged with nasty gunk, and they come right out, get rinsed off and work fine……also my $2 package of plastic shims from the hardware store balanced them perfectly…….savings=probably about $60, instead of finding some genius who is an expert on fountain pumps…..

Then I moved on to the scary item, the tri-lever assembly for the toilet. Know what that is? I sure didn’t. But now I do, I could even write a short novel about it. Needless to say, you don’t need a masters degree to figure it out, unscrew it, go to Home Depot, get another one, and make it work fine. Savings=about $60 again, although I feel badly as Virgilio, the delightful plumber, needs the work.

Speaking of “fixins”…..Nathen’s school started their food drive yesterday for Thanksgiving. Every class level is assigned an item for the meal to be brought in…4th grade assignment is “pie”. The problem the drive has had is that people are embarrassed to be asking for food in our school community. God, I wish they wouldn’t be.

There is NOTHING wrong with asking for help. EVER. That’s what friends, family, community is all about. Gone are the days (or they SHOULD be), when people speak in hushed tones about someone needing a “handout”, or needing “help”. Just think about how disgusting that is, judging somebody else for NEEDING HELP—-then give what you can, with a smile on your face and expecting nothing in return. Just beware the ones who make a lifestyle choice out of it, just one man’s opinion. “Teach a man to fish”, and all that, or learn to fix a toilet…….

just a clarification.......

Tue, 02 Nov 2010 10:24:33 -0700

The buyback of candy by registered dentists is a national program, to encourage our kids (with alarmingly high obesity rates) to eat less sweets (saving their teeth as well), and also do some goodwill by sending the extra candy to our troops to give them a bit of Halloween where they are serving…….It’s not a bad idea, just something that would have struck me as insane when I was a kid (it’s not like we had candy in our house any other time, we didn’t), and we had ALREADY done something by sending in our UNICEF boxes…..I would save the candy buyback program for people who overbought and have extra left over, but that’s just one man’s opinion……(Halloween and the bounty I was so proud of collecting as a kid was a little bit sacred to me, so it still feels a bit like Joan Crawford letting her kids only keep one present for Christmas)…….

p.s. Nathen sent in his $22.93 to UNICEF this morning, and was very proud of it…..

"......A CHICKEN IN EVERY POT....."

Tue, 02 Nov 2010 07:37:49 -0700

Years ago, you could run an entire political campaign on the idea of the “luxury” of people having a chicken. Read that again——HAVING A CHICKEN. That meant that a family could eat. They could roast it, make sandwiches out of it, use the bones for soup, and eat it for an entire week. We were hard workers. And we worked for such a “luxury”.

Most people I know are hard workers, yes, even actors. Our nanny Lara is amazed at what I go to the store and buy….Mondays are shopping day for me. She didn’t know about freezing meat, like that was some foreign concept to her. Chicken was on sale yesterday for 77 cents a pound. I bought two. That’s how I roll, because yes, I’m a rebel. She thinks I work “hard” to save money——and have we come to the point in society where me buying 2 chickens is considered working “hard”? OY VEY.

Today is election day. And while I don’t like to be political on here, many of you can probably guess where my sentiments lie. And no, the candidates from either side are not the evil devils the ads make them out to be. It’s ludicrous. They are all patriots of one sort or another, as many of us are….I can tell you that Meg Whitman is no more of a patriot than I myself am, as much as she wants me to not believe that or that anyone who doesn’t think the way she does must be either an imbecile or the devil.

I grew up understanding that government was supposed to: keep us safe, give us good roads and rails to ride, educate our children, and hopefully care for our health and old-age. That’s it. Simple, I know——but the idea that one party has decided that anything our government tries to do means that they are getting “too big” and so we should be “afraid” of them is insane. One party is not about “big government” and another about “less government”. That is a complete and total lie in a time when one party is grabbing at ANYTHING to make themselves heard. Listen very carefully. And as John Stewart reminded us this week—-CALM THE HELL DOWN.

Let government HELP you to help yourself. Let government HELP empower you to be able to go out and earn a living so you can BUY a chicken. That’s HELP, not do it for you. Herbert Hoover was a member of a political party that walked around promising a chicken in every pot, and a car in every garage. We saw how well that turned out.

Vote with YOUR brain, not someone else’s. And go buy your own chicken, it’s 77 cents a pound this week at my local store.

ps. A reader wrote to me about some dentist they heard of who pays $1 a pound for candy after Halloween. I’m not sure which is more disturbing—-asking kids to sell their free food for money, or a dentist using the joy of a children’s holiday to beef up his business. NObody on this site is promoting giving up the things that make life a “treat”——the thing that would be sold right after we sold Nathen’s candy would be ME, by NATHEN………..

YOU GONNA USE THAT??

Mon, 01 Nov 2010 07:44:00 -0700

The best part about trick-or-treating for a freak like me is of course seeing other people’s houses. There’s nothing better than trying to look as far into someone’s home as possible while they are handing my kid some free candy….(and yes, for those of you following, filling up his UNICEF box, which I DID get for him on Friday)…….

It’s pretty ridiculous the way some people have such nice houses and then fill it with pre-fab hideous doors, windows, mantels etc, when there are such great finds out there….beautiful stuff, at a fraction of the price.

One ‘chain’ that is awesome is “Habitat ReStores”….they are the donation sales arm of Habitat for Humanity…..what they stock is all sorts of donated and overstock building supplies from contractors, home depot, etc….and all of the money goes to Habitat for Humanity…I’m talking like windows, doors, construction materials that were over-ordered, or not needed anymore and it can be like 70 percent off, which as you know makes my heart sing…….(couple that with the glorious Douglas, who builds for me, and you are basically getting an entire opera)……

Right here in LA, in North Hollywood, there is an AMAZING place called “Scavengers Paradise”, run by my pal Gillum….she stocks the absolute coolest antique and salvageable architectural pieces from all over the place…….from wrought iron gates to ancient wooden doors, to little stuff thats incredible for gifts, at every possible price point……if you are in this area, check her out……..

It always boggles my mind that something called a “thrift store” is only haunted by people who really need it, or by hipsters who are aware of them. I think it had a horrible connotation to people of my parent’s generation that felt like a handout or something…….support these places, they make people’s houses look 50 times cooler, and I won’t go into the environmental bonus of using great stuff instead of raping our planet to make some more garbage that we don’t need…….

In summary….savings on building stuff= UNMEASURABLE…..finding a great keepsake and making it your own= PRICELESS……

Keep adding and passing this on…..this army of readers is indeed making a difference……

SPOOKY SCARY FREAKY.........

Fri, 29 Oct 2010 07:22:39 -0700

It’s a holiday indeed. After you have saved money on your pumpkins (that sounds dirty) at Trader Joes (for 2.99), and your candy at 99 Cent Store (duh….for 99 CENTS), and your costume that you might have made from scratch (how many years in a row was I a HOBO anyway?)….then please ponder this——-

What the HELL happened to UNICEF???? We put out a dish of candy AND a dish of pennies and nickels…..I know that I am 500 years old and all…..but we wouldn’t CONSIDER going out to trick-or-treat without our orange UNICEF boxes…..

We learned from a VERY early age that literally TEN CENTS could change the life of some faceless child all the way in Africa or South America……what the HELL HAPPENED TO US LEARNING AND KNOWING THAT?????

So, this weekend, while your little ones become ghosts and goblins, or better yet, if YOU become one, take a moment to realize, as hard as it may be to get by in these times, you most definitely have a computer, and at least SOMETHING to eat…..UNICEF taught us about giving and charity, and in a much more subtle way, that putting together small amounts of money can help to save the world and each other….and in these times, even ourselves…….

Maybe if I ever get to be famous enough then that will be my “thing”, just getting those orange boxes back into the hands of kids everywhere, it kills me that they went away——and I hadn’t thought about them till this week——I have a feeling poor Nathen will be lugging one around next year…….

"NATHEN WENT TO COLLEGE TO GET MORE KNOWLEDGE.......

Thu, 28 Oct 2010 07:41:36 -0700

……Willie went to Jupiter to get more stupider…….”——-that’s what Nathen says to me every day. It’s awesome. Of course he doesn’t understand that Willie went to the school of his choice, and graduated in 3 years with a double degree(savings=$30,000), but he will someday.

Last night was the open house at the local middle school. It’s a huge debate in cities like Los Angeles about where to go to school, public or private, charter or home, etc etc etc. It was very important to me that Nathen went to public school. One, because I did, as corny as that seems. And two, because he is adopted, already thrown into another world, and the last place I want him is a school full of a bunch of rich white kids. But that’s just me.

At any rate, the open house was really great. The local middle school, while having over 1600 students for the 3 grades, has small learning academies within it, and they encourage you to apply to as many as you like. Nathen will probably apply to the Humanities program, or the Technology program. They all teach the same basics and then focus on stuff the kids might be interested in within those areas. They even have a Culinary Academy, which would be the one for ME.

I have a friend who sent her child to a very excellent private school around the corner from our house here. They went there from K-12, and she estimates she spent $450,000 on his education. He is now enrolled at a local community college for $11 a credit. I asked her, “isn’t that kind of NOT the point of having gone there?’. She said, “I told him, I already spent half a million dollars on your education, you are going to make that community college a great school for you.”

Now I do find that a bit extreme, and you do have to find your comfort level. One of the parents I spoke to last night was very concerned about the size of the middle school, and was sad that the couldn’t afford the fancy private school. I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. I CAN afford the private school, and I DON’T want Nathen going there….the middle school has great programs, is wildly diverse, and is a NEIGHBORHOOD school, all things that mean a lot to me. We all make our choices, and while it is really inspiring that the Obama family sacrificed everything so that Barack could go to the Punaho School in Hawaii—-there was a reason—-the public schools there were crap. But if you have a local option, and it’s NOT crap, and you believe in the community and support of public schools and teachers, then I say sacrifice everything to go to one——again, IF YOU CAN……..

So that’s my feeling on the subject——just one man’s thoughts, take ‘em or leave ‘em…….

In summary….3 years of middle school around the corner—FREE……3 years of middle school around the other corner—-$105,000…….no choice in my opinion……

READY, WILLING, AND ABLE......

Wed, 27 Oct 2010 07:44:00 -0700

I had a long talk with our nanny/housekeeper yesterday. She’s a really great woman. She has a masters degree, teaches yoga, plats organic gardens for people, works in public radio and has an Emmy Award for doing so. She CHOSE to do this job, cleaning up our house, cooking for us, taking care of Nathen——because of the ECONOMY. She also, as a sidebar, finds the 6 hours a day she spends here to be her favorite part of her day, but that’s not the point.

We all have to make money. We all have bills to pay. in our world, when you see a ‘celebrity’ on some junky reality show, don’t kid yourself. Our field of employment is hard, hard, hard…..and people have to make a living. I’ve worked as a dishwasher for $3.50 and hour, so every day that I’m paid as an actor is a good one, believe me.

I know a VERY famous celebrity who was having a tough time about 20 years ago——she got a job bussing tables at a coffee house——I believe if you asked her today she would remember those as good times, but I truly credit her resurgent success to that kind of thinking……

On the flip side, there is a father at Nathen’s school who is basically one step away from being a deadbeat Dad, yet he is seen out at restaurants that are easily $100 a person, when his family has really been struggling to get by.

My point is this, not just on a character level, but on a nuts-and-bolts level. If people are struggling, they have to assess what they are willing to DO to stay afloat. Notice I said “DO”—-that’s an ACTIVE word——I’m not talking about looking for a handout or coming up with a scam. In a weird economy, I have a dear friend who sat down and thought about what she knows, what contacts she has, and whats she hasn’t done to capitalize on those things. Well, she came up with an idea, and it’s perfect, and she and a partner are starting to go after it. I could’t be more proud of her.

So, if you can skip the meal out, cancel the membership, skip the Starbuck’s a couple of days, or even change your perception of what your “career” may mean in order to feel THAT sense of accomplishment that you are taking care of your stuff, then I say go for it. At the end of the day, holding on to those notions of insecurity or even “you know me, I have to have my Starbucks!” end up just being a huge waste of time and money…..

Got it? Good…..now go get it…….

ASK.....DON'T TELL........

Tue, 26 Oct 2010 08:36:14 -0700

I’ve written about this before a little bit. There is nothing worse than the person who knows everything. The worst fight I ever had with someone ended with me saying— “When did you get your degree?”. “In what?”, they answered. “IN EVERYTHING!!!”, was my aggressively snotty response.

The smartest people I know are the ones asking the questions, ALL THE TIME. In my time on Earth, I have pretty much figured out that everyone knows an awful lot about SOMETHING. Go forth, find that person. I have a pretty good idea who to talk to about saving money on a car, or a hotel, or a contractor, or groceries, or a TV….that’s the basis for this entire site. It’s just one dumb guy, ME, walking around asking questions. It’s why Sarah Jessica thought we should do a book about this, we have been talking about this stuff for 25 years (I know that seems odd, as we both look so young and vibrant….well, at least she does). This is how I live my life.

I see the other stuff out there…..sites about frugality, sites about saving on childcare, books on making your own pillows, blah blah blah……nobody should tell you they don’t make mistakes……why did I keep my bottled water for 20 years when my refrigerator has a FILTRATION SYSTEM?? Why do people stay with their phone carrier when their neighbor’s are getting the same service for half the price?

My point is, see someone saving money on something, something that YOU feel you could be saving money on….and ASK. Then SHARE it, don’t be the insecure person who insists they have it all figured out, that’s a fools game, and in the long run, a money-losing one. Or, if you’ve been reading this carefully, a way to NOT do things, which is the worst thing of all in my book. “We don’t go there, it’s too expensive”. “We stay home and watch TV instead.” “Well YOU can go do things, YOU are rich.” Ask around and figure it out.

This came up this week with pumpkins. Someone told me about a site called Social Living. I joined. Free. They had a $10 sale for a pumpkin patch. For that, Nathen got a train ride, a petting zoo, a bouncy thing, and TEN DOLLARS off a pumpkin. Then parents told me how crazy it was to buy pumpkins from a pumpkin patch. So they didn’t go. Well, guess what——we picked a $10 pumpkin—-FREE——-and Nathen got to go on a bunch of stuff and had a blast (especially feeding the baby Llama, which was awesome), and it ALL cost me $10——and the others did NOTHING……..all they had to do was ask. Nobody thinks anyone os an idiot when they are trying to get information……give it a shot, it’s a great thing to do.

HMMMM....VERY INTERESTING..........

Mon, 25 Oct 2010 07:43:27 -0700

What’s your interest rate? We all have them, be it from a car loan, a home loan, and the dreaded, absolutely insane….CREDIT card. We have school loans, rates of deposit….in my case, I had a loan from my mother, and yes, whenever my brother or I borrowed from her, it was at the rate of her local bank branch (yes, my mother passed away as a very wealthy woman, this was just another reason why, haha)….

I know many people are drowning under debt right now, and it may seem overwhelming. In fact, it may BE overwhelming. (Sorry, but it’s my son Nathen’s new word of choice….”don’t be overwhelmed Dad…”). Like everything else I have been writing about——take a deep breath, relax, and take a slow, deliberate look at each piece of credit or debt you are holding, and just see if there is anything you can do about it. Believe me, if you are at all qualified, lenders are DYING for your business right now….there is NOTHING wrong with saying, “can we do a little better on that rate” to a credit card company, a home loan, or a car loan. I even heard from one reader who had her student loan fixed by CALLING THE COMPANY……

These are times for people to be smart. And as amazing as that may seem to some, that might take 5 minutes of your time to actually take care of stuff. My personal home loan refinance is going down to 3.1 percent…that’s basically free money——buying a tax-free bond at 4 percent with the money I owe on my house gets me 1)the tax deduction for my interest, and 2)extra income from it to pay the house taxes. Is it a hassle? Well, it’s more of a hassle than doing NOTHING…it’s also saving me 700 DOLLARS A MONTH…..ummm, that’s worth a few minutes of my time for sure.

And please please please, if you are in any sort of trouble…..PAY DOWN THAT 19 PERCENT CREDIT CARD FIRST. And then, if you have to ——- RIP THAT DIRTY LITTLE THING UP——tell yourself and your friends (let’s call them “enablers’, haha) that you don’t have one anymore……..

I worry about people. That’s why I’m doing this. TAKE CARE OF YOUR INTEREST RATES. Simple as that……Interesting, huh?

WHERE DID ALL MY MONEY GO???

Fri, 22 Oct 2010 08:33:59 -0700

REALLY??? YOU DON’T KNOW????

We ALL have heard someone say “I don’t now where my money goes.” We may have said it ourselves. Well next time you hear someone say that, follow these simple steps:

1)Hit them on the head with a frying pan.

2)Remove the joint, liquor bottle, syringe from their hand.

3)Check them into a mental hospital.

When I was starting out trying to be an actor after school was finished, New York was a disaster area, as the $20 in my pocket would last about 2 blocks….subways, food, etc etc etc, so I never left the apartment (which my roommate and I could barely afford anyway). Los Angeles was like a dream world, you could walk around (yes, I walked, rare for LA), for DAYS with a $20 bill in your pocket, so at least I got to be outside, and ramen noodles were oh so tasty.

The thing is, I was always ACUTELY aware of how much money I had, or didn’t have, not only in my pocket but in my bank account…..still am, to this very day, can tell you pretty close to the nearest dollar (in those days it was to the nearest 25 cents)…

If you have ever read Andy Warhol’s Diaries (a fascinating read by the way), he takes it to a level of insanity…”took cab to 14th Street——$1.75”. As crazy as it all seems when you are reading it, we should not forget, he died with an estate of FIVE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS.

And here’s the thing to never forget——$10 pays for the exact same amount of stuff for me as it does for Michael Bloomberg or Bill Gates. A $10 bill is the same $10 bill all across the country……please please, I beg of you….be aware of your money, that alone will somehow give it value and also an awareness of saving it that we have seen many forget about and suffer because of it. How dare one of my childhood heroes, New York Met Lenny Dykstra, blow through a fortune estimated at THIRTY EIGHT MILLION DOLLARS. How dare he end up living in his car. It’s baffling to me, and it should be to you as well.

Have a great weekend, don’t spend like drunk sailors on leave, and if you ARE a drunk sailor on leave, skip that last-call drink (it’s never a good one, believe me, I have ordered it 1000 times too many), and bring the money home to your family instead……

I DON'T CARE TO BE A MEMBER OF ANY CLUB THAT WILL HAVE ME.....

Thu, 21 Oct 2010 08:42:46 -0700

Groucho Marx was making a JOKE. Belong to all of them. It’s absolutely crazy not to.

My AMEX rewards pays for my newspapers. We all know about the amazing discounts that AAA provides. And obviously Costco or Sam’s Club, depending on where you live. And the supermarket ones, which basically write my shopping list for me, depending on what’s on sale. Fishing around the Screen Actors Guild website, I found out that union members get discounts on an INSANE number of things, I had no idea. (Being that 99 percent of SAG members earn about 20 cents a year, I hope that people pay attention to that and use them).

I took my friend to lunch the other day and he took out his KCRW public radio discount card, saying, “well you might as well save 10%.” This is a guy who lives in a 2-million dollar plus house, who I never in a thousand years imagined would EVER think about saving the $4 on lunch….that one was inspiring to me.

The GAP flyer came yesterday. 3 day sale, an extra 30% off for CARDMEMBERS…INCLUDING CLEARANCE ITEMS. I actually bought Nathen a pair of shoes at Kids Gap last week, special promotion, FORTY FIVE PERCENT OFF for cardmembers THAT DAY ONLY, his clearance sneakers cost THREE DOLLARS (and they are damn spiffy I might add).

Here’s the thing….don’t just sign up for every card that begs you to become a marketing tool…sign up for the ones that have value and then USE THEM. REMEMBER you have them. They are actually MONEY IN YOUR POCKET. Or to your favorite charity. Or just decide that you are too lazy, too busy, too “something” to even worry about it….then you shouldn’t EVER complain about the vacation you can’t take, the car you can’t afford, the house you can’t live in, or the restaurant you would never be able to go to. Not to mention the braces your kid can’t have, the summer camp they can’t go to, or the tutor they need for help at school…….

I’m serious about this one, it’s a thorny issue to me. I grew up with trading stamps and driving miles for a bargain. AND WE WERE LOADED. So allow yourself to be the same, I hereby give you permission.

In summary….card savings, anywhere from 10-40 percent. And it truly falls into the category of “Why the hell NOT?”

Thanks for continuing to sign up and pass this around, it means a lot.I am TRULY an advocate for this stuff, and the comments are amazing and warm and touching and inspirational……keep it up……

IT'S MY PARTY AND I'LL CRY IF I WANT TO........

Wed, 20 Oct 2010 09:00:39 -0700

Events. Huge topic. So many of you have commented on them. Lemme ramble first. I grew up with parents who got married simply and elegantly. A HUGE wedding was for the society pages. Rockefellers, Kennedys, Johnsons……..or the oil baron in town who wanted to show that he was a “made man” and could throw any type of party for his beloved baby girl. There were also lower divorce rates, but I digress. We now live in the 21st Century, where people MORTGAGE THEIR HOUSES, and blow their LIFE SAVINGS to have a party. It’s so far beyond insane that it’s impossible to comment on.

The most lavish wedding I have been to was on a Saturday night at the Beverly Hills Hotel, 400 people, 30 piece orchestra, blah blah blah……easily $700,000……guess how long the marriage lasted——that’s right—-FOUR MONTHS…….I bumped into the bride a year later…”When did you know”, I asked. “Walking down the aisle actually, but you saw it, how could I have stopped it?”

Three best weddings I’ve been to:

1)My friends at their family home in Gloucester, Massachusetts, overlooking the water after the ceremony in the 300 year old church down the street….tons of bars, they had recorded all their favorite music for the dance floor, and their were buffets all over the place with simple great food laid out all day, and a rowboat filled with ice and cold seafood…..it probably cost under $20,000 for the whole thing and it was an absolute blast…….

2)Two friends who are literally music royalty, at another music royals home (free is my guess), amazingly lovely decor, great food, and of course amazing music…..if they spent $40,000 I would be amazed, and it was the best time of all……

3)My friends rented one of those great mid-century modern houses in Palm Springs, had beautiful italian globe lighting above, a horseshoe table for the 70 people, great food and drink and a pool…..delightful….

I’ve also been to amazing alternative location weddings in burned out buildings, weddings on Sundays at closed restaurants (like half the price), old hotels that are actually hidden jewels, etc etc etc…..

Here’s the thing, and my opinion…..NOBODY remembers what the cake looks like, what the invitation looked like, what kind of champagne there was for the toast, what the centerpieces looked like, what the friggin MONOGRAMMED cocktail napkins looked like…..and on and on and on……it’s sheer madness…….spend the money on food and drink and music, and a good photographer (which is what you actually take home with you, by the way….), and spend the rest on a downpayment for a HOUSE……..

As for Bar-Mitzvah’s…..my god….I have seen some scary stuff. Unless your child is ACTUALLY, ON PAPER, PROVEN to be the Messiah, and prepared to lead the world into peace, starting with settling all conflicts in the Middle-East and all disagreements between religions throughout the world, while at the same time curing MS, cancer, HIV, malaria, and all hunger…..then CALM THE HELL DOWN. What we ALL remember about a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, or I imagine a confirmation as well….is the CHILD, how they speak, carry themselves, and what kind of adult they are going to become, THAT’S what we remember, without exception……

I could go on and on, but my point is made.

In summary…..great wedding=celebration of love with family and friends, completely reasonable to spend whatever makes THAT come true. Savings=UNLIMITED.

p.s. Pumpkins are $5.99 at Do-It-Center Hardware in Burbank this week, a far cry from the $30 at many local pumpkin patches (where Nathen and I are GOING, but for the scary house and the petting zoo, not for the $30 oversized gourd)…….

IF YOU BUILD IT........

Tue, 19 Oct 2010 08:28:37 -0700

It would probably surprise many people who know me that I could be considered “handy”. I know you rarely see little bald men with glasses swinging a hammer, or wearing a tool belt (unless you have some sick fetish that you should keep to yourself, please).

I DO have a construction guy who I use at my house, and I trust him completely…..of course I have used him for 20 years, he is an independent contractor, and he costs about 1/4 of anyone else I have ever seen. He has worked on my homes, my businesses, and been referred by me over and over again. Basically he is amazing. I also have a handyman, who I met in the parking lot at Home Depot, just an honest guy trying to make a living and I call him when I feel lazy.

My fence in front is old and getting rotted from the rain and termites. So yesterday I went and got new panels for it at Home Depot. I painted them with some old paint that I had kept from probably 4 years ago. Putting the two panels up this morning.

I’m not telling you this to point out how rugged I am. Anyone with 2 eyes in their head could OBVIOUSLY see that. I’m telling you because you absolutely can’t imagine how many people call someone to come to their house, apartment, single-wide trailer to do ANYTHING for them——I swear I have known people who LITERALLY cannot change a lightbulb. My god, it is such a horrible waste. I love the sense of pride and ownership too, looking at the fence that “I built” (hardly, Home Depot built it, I was just wise enough to figure out how to put it up)…..

So do it yourself. When you can, obviously…and don’t when you can’t….it’s a big savings, aand a real sense of accomplishment……

In summary….me painting the fence and anchoring it to the rest of it….probably half a day for my construction guy and his 2 helpers, total cost about $250…….me doing it when I can, over two days——FREE……….I LIVE for savings like that, and yes, i look pretty snazzy in a toolbelt (my neighbors though, are BEGGING me to wear something underneath it)……

TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELF AND MAKE THAT----CHANGE.....

Mon, 18 Oct 2010 08:35:25 -0700

Thanks again for all of your comments, so great. Many of you are thinking so wisely, and have given yourself deserved pats on the back for figuring out great ways to save in so many areas, without living like homeless people…..keep it up and keep them coming, it’s awesome…..

Change is a great thing, in life, location, employment, wherever….this is a short life and I am a strong believer in packing a ton into it…..

Pocket change, also amazing. Three stories:

My mother, who passed away a much wealthier woman than we had any idea about, walked around New York and never passed a coin on the street that she didn’t pick up….I could insert any number of ethnic jokes here, (yes, shockingly, I am of the Jewish persuasion), but I’ll leave that to your own thoughts (which are fine by the way, I could tell about 200 jokes here but I won’t—-ok, just one….2 jews are in a room and there’s a nickel on the floor: THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN)….the point being, that quarter that you find on the street buys the same thing for you as the next person who finds it (personally I am a fan of leaving it, or moving it to where someone else can find it, maybe someone who might need it a bit more than I do?)

When me and my pals all moved here to Los Angeles from New York to be actors and writers, we were poor. I mean, actually, truly, REALLY poor. Like 6 of us in a 2 bedroom apartment poor, rotating who got the couch (the 2 guys who had the lease got the bedrooms). We obviously didn’t go out at all, we had ONE car between all of us to drop off at auditions, and one of us (who became perfectly successful as an actor) could live for a week on one pack of store brand bologna. Our release was “wine fridays”. We had a bowl next to the front door. You put your change in when you came in every time, and at 3pm on Friday, one of us would go to the local ghetto liquor store in Venice and buy as much cheap rotgut wine as possible. Sometimes, wine Fridays would last an hour. Sometimes until midnight in a good week of change. Of course we were young, without kids and wives and cars and mortgages, but I often remember it as the happiest time of my life. So there.

I always went to Jazzfest in New Orleans, and still do, every year. I have a friend who, long before kids and a house and all that, would save only his quarters in a jar. Just the quarters. When April came along, he had enough to go with us to New Orleans. Then he stopped. Too much effort. I never understood it, it’s the happiest place ever, a joyful and inexpensive vacation. If you have never seen about 6000 jews rocking out in the Gospel tent at Jazzfest, with people being saved by Jesus all around them, then you aint lived baby…..

So what’s my point…..change works. UNICEF and March of Dimes helped countless millions of people based on it. And if you need it, you can help yourself. Just never forget it IS MONEY. And in case you live in Los Angeles, a cup of coffee at Phillippe’s French Dip downtown is still NINE CENTS.

In summary, let’s say 2 bucks a day in change, in a jar——thats $730 at the end of the year. That’s Chanukah (that’s right, I said it—CHANUKAH)….or a few car payments (more on that later), or for many people, A MONTHS RENT…..just keep it in mind……

“One thin dime won’t shine your shoes—-on Broadway”…….what about a whole bunch of ‘em?

Talk to you later…please keep signing up to follow this page, that count really helps me out, but at the very least, I hope you keep reading and enjoying it……

I love your blog. I love Mozzie too. I discovered White Collar this summer and am ashamed to say...

Sun, 17 Oct 2010 09:36:33 -0700

I love your blog. I love Mozzie too. I discovered White Collar this summer and am ashamed to say you. I must have been living under a rock or a pile of diapers the last 10 years. I count myself as one of few females to have not watched Sex and the city. I try to live by the principles of frugality and living within means. Thanks for making it seem cool.

What we've done to save money...

Fri, 15 Oct 2010 15:18:07 -0700

Hi Willie! Thanks so much for your blog - great reading and tips. Let me get my star struck self out of the way by telling you how much I enjoy your character on WC - you, and the rest of the cast are fantastic - wouldn’t miss a show.

Okay- now to the topic at hand…we are a family of 4 - and make under 3 figures. We’ve sent the two boys to private grade and high schools by my husband working and at times, me working three jobs - all worth it. But we’ve never wanted for anything…

As far as college goes, I knew I would have to get a job at a University or College prior to the first son leaving high school so that he could get his education at a major discount. Although I hadn’t been a secretary in 20 years, a private, local university hired me as such. T.J. got his 4 year bachelor’s degree basically free, and now they have hired him as a computer programmer, which enables him to get his MBA for free. He is almost done. Our youngest, Tyler, just started college, and I just graduated with my bachelor’s, working on a master’s degree - all for just fees - which amount to almost nothing. The boys will not have college loans hanging over their heads. My sister-in-law did this also for her children.

I go to http://www.restaurant.com when they have 80% off of their already reduced restaurant certificates - that’s how we go out to eat - so it isn’t an arm or a leg.

For my clothes, I shop a local web site that has extensions all over the US - http://www.jolietyardsales.com Great place to buy and sell anything and everything.

We never sell a car until it is paid off - never rolling two loans together.

I bring my own pop and coffee to work instead of purchasing at a nice coffee shop or McD’s

Dicker with the cable company once a year to bring our internet/cable/phone bill down. They always seem to pull a deal out just before I say I’m canceling the service - funny how that works….

My husband worked on making double payments to pay the house off in 1/2 the time (yay!) And like you said - use credit cards like cash - paying them off at the end of each month!

Well, I’ve bored you enough - thanks again for sharing your ideas online and your other talents on screen —

Donna

I just wanted to tell you that I think you're an amazing actor and that completely enjoy your role on White Collar. I know you get this tons of times daily but I just wanted to add on it and happily be another fan added to the pile (please don't light us on fire we made bad kindling). My hat's off to you sir. Have a great day!

Fri, 15 Oct 2010 10:08:58 -0700

Thats wildly kind of you…thanks so much and I hope you keep watching (and reading, lol)…..WG

NO PARKIN BABY, NO PARKIN ON THE DANCE FLOOR.....

Fri, 15 Oct 2010 08:32:02 -0700

First off, thanks for all the great emails and comments, and for taking some of these ideas and thoughts to heart, it means a lot to me. And if you are just now joining or following, please go back and read from the beginning, I think you will find it informative and useful. And yes, as already posted, my son and I DO go camping quite a bit, and yes, I have been to England (however, not on a walkabout, but instead toiling away as a bartender for 2pounds 20p an hour for 16 hours a day, but that’s a story for another day)…..

I live in Los Angeles. Valet parking is the norm. I however, don’t do it. And that, basically, is my tip for the day. Pretty simple. But it can be more complex actually. If you are heading out to spend $40 on a meal, or $40 for drinks for 2 people, do you really need to be spending another FIFTEEN PERCENT of your evening to park your friggin car???? I know there is an industry of people devoted to that pursuit, so it makes me feel badly, but please god, go find a parking spot instead.

I had a blind date (no, she wasn’t blind, we just didn’t know each other—-and besides, I am allergic to guard dogs). We were meeting friends for drinks at the Beverly hills Hotel, which is a great swanky thing to do on a Saturday night. Oddly, doesn’t cost a fortune, and there is a piano player, AND you are guaranteed to see Michael Bolton hanging out when he is in town, who is basically the nicest guy ever, but I digress. So….here’s the deal….there is a street NEXT to the Beverly Hills Hotel, actually NEXT to the entrance to the Polo Lounge, where we were going. THAT is where I park whenever I go there, whether to the Lounge or to the fantastic coffee shop downstairs. So that’s where I went to park. I had known this woman a solid 20 minutes and she already hated me for not pulling up to the front of the hotel, paying the $12 to valet park, and then walking BACK to the entrance of the Polo Lounge. Needless to say, she had me pegged as a cheap, ungracious loser (she might not be wrong), without recognizing my quirky charm (nice recovery there), and never got to realize that I would gladly spend anything on a good meal, or on my son, or whatever I needed…I just don’t WASTE money, simple as that.

To some people, I realize valet parking and accoutrements such as that symbolize wealth OR symbolize that they LOOK wealthy. It’s a mindset that is hard to break. “I’m a bigshot—- I can’t afford my mortgage, my health insurance, my kids braces, my car payment, AND I am unemployed, BUT if I valet park, everyone will look up to me with respect.” Ugh, it makes my stomach turn to think of people feeling that way. It’s kind of the basis for what I have been writing all along…BE SMART…there is nothing more attractive than smart. And I will repeat this again…..if you REALLY want to feel like a swell, take the money that you would have blown, yes even the $5, and put it in an envelope to Haiti relief, Doctors Without Borders, or AMFAR. One man’s opinion.

So the info today: Walk a block, park where you can. Nobody thinks you are a fatcat just because you valet park. (Obviously, there are places where you MUST valet park, it’s just the way it is set up…those places make me lose my last two hairs. And if Grandma can’t walk the extra block, well there’s nothing you can do about that either).

Keep forwarding and commenting. Whenever you send me a suggestion, it means that you are thinking, and that’s a great thing. I can’t tell you how it pains me to see people in trouble. Sarah Jessica talks about it all the time with me, savings are for everybody——it’s just a matter of training your eye to look for them and then giving yourself the pat on the back for finding them.

Off for the weekend, and hope you catch up on all the posts, I’ll talk to you Monday……