That’s a quote from Jackie Gleason, the greatest who ever lived by the way…and it’s fitting…..he lived life FULLY….my guess is that he probably never saved a dime on anything, but man did he know how to live…….hopefully I’ve give you some fuel to live more fully, without wanting for anything, but without being wasteful for no good reason or insecurity….in other words, to be SMART, NOT CHEAP.

Here we go to summarize what I have been babbling about. Remember, these are MY thoughts, with a little help from Sarah Jessica, always good with money, and my Mom and her Mom, rest their souls, both excellent with money……

KNOWLEDGE—Read everything. My friend yells at his wife for not knowing what she paid for the chicken nuggets at the overpriced store. She has no idea what they cost. REALLY? Know what things cost. Know when things are on sale. READ A NEWSPAPER. And if you can’t figure something out, for god’s sake—-ASK SOMEONE.

AVOID—Avoid people who start sentences with—“You should….”. They are the worst. Embrace people who start sentences with—“You know what worked really well for me was……”. And then, after you have found the deal, be a good citizen of the planet, and PASS IT ON. My friend Denise told me that eggs are 99 cents for 18 at Ralph’s this week. As if I didn’t know that, haha, but god bless her for being the kind of person to tell me about it.

FOOD—Obvious and easy way to save money. Learn to cook. Enjoy cooking. Try new things. And shop well. Use coupons for things that are worthy of using coupons for—(“but there’s never anything that I use that has a coupon”—-Really? You don’t use toilet paper? Dish soap? Your kids don’t eat Cheerios? Really??) Eat out less. Have cocktails with your friends BEFORE you all head to the restaurant, then go over together. Besides being very cool and 1940’s of you, you will also save a FORTUNE at the restaurant. (As a restaurant partner, I am literally shooting myself in the foot by writing that.) Go to that cool restaurant owned by the foreign people who make the amazing dishes of their country. In a huge city, eat at the REAL french bistro, where dinner is $20 instead of the fake french bistro where dinner is $60. And really, please god, don’t be that person who says “you know me, I really NEED my Starbucks.” Be that person who says, “you know me, I can always pay my rent.” Keep your eyes open. In other words, be SMART.

INTEREST—Get out of credit cards. Think of them as ATM’s and ONLY as ATM’s. If you are lucky enough to have a mortgage, look for a better one—-pain in the butt? Not right now it’s not. If you are qualified, there are companies that will kill a small puppy to hold your paper. And for god’s sake, OWN your car, even with payments instead of leasing it, it’s a ridiculous equation.

TRAVEL—Look online FIRST. Figure out what’s important and spend the money on THAT. Does it really matter which company I rent my Ford Taurus from? Doubtful, Hotwire works fine for me. Lastminute.com is great to go on a trip. And if you can wait…call the hotel the day before. This is a rough economy, believe me they have rooms. Fly coach, and use your miles to upgrade—NOT for free flights. (I got yelled at by a reader about my JetBlue card, but believe me, as someone who commutes 3000 miles to work, it’s absolute magic). Stick with the ONE YOU USE. That’s it. NO, don’t have every single one offered, that’s NOT smart. Use what you use, don’t use what you don’t.

CLOTHING—Thrift stores. Sales. Target. Sample sales. Even here in LA, Fred Segal and Barneys have crazy sales once a year for fancy fancy stuff. Wait for them. And loyalty credit cards—-but again, the ONES YOU USE. I DON’T go to Macy’s enough to apply that day and save 10%, and knock points off my credit score. I DO go to the Gap and Banana Republic (and of course the glorious Old Navy), so that credit card is used all the time—-(balance paid in full of course)—-and the savings are RIDONCULOUS……

EVENTS—Throw a party that makes SENSE. Again, NOBODY remembers your monogrammed napkins, they don’t remember the champagne used for your toast, they don’t remember the centerpiece—-they remember that they had an amazing time. Good food, MUSIC, drink, friends, family. For other parties, throw them WITH your friends so you can share the party—assuming your best friends are coming ANYWAY—why not throw the party TOGETHER? We do it all the time, and it’s better for all because of it. 

HOUSE—Fix it yourself. If you can. Don’t be scared—as much as I love my plumber, my contractor, my gardener, my painter—-I can do most of it myself, and more importantly, can have fun doing them, especially with my son.

SAVINGS—Save money. In a jar. In a monthly or weekly automatic deduction. I’m talking about 5 dollars. Or 500 dollars. Just do it, whatever amount makes you a)not notice it, and b)allows itself to GROW.

EXTRAS—Do you need all those magazine subscriptions? Really? Ok, then have them. Do you watch all those premium cable channels? Ok, keep them. Do you use all that delivery water” Ok, keep it. I think you get the point…..PARE IT DOWN and you, my friend, will suddenly find yourself with MONEY.

THINKING—NEVER ASSUME SOMEONE ELSE HAS IT BETTER THAN YOU DO. Everyone has their issues. The downturn in the economy may have struck the world with it’s full force, but I come from a business where this has ALWAYS happened to people ALL OF THE TIME. Literally. People in my business make a million dollars one year, and 2,000 dollars the next year. NOT KIDDING. We can all remember the cautionary tale of MC Hammer, made 30 Million one year, and hired 50 people for his “staff”, only to make less than 1 Million the next year after setting up the most insane lifestyle one could imagine. (Bless him, he found god—-and I’m guessing, humility and frugality—-in other words, he got SMART.) And please, I beg of you, vote intelligently, not just because an ad or a family member told you to vote a certain way. 

DON’T BE CHEAP—Be that person who CAN pick up the check. Who CAN go on vacation. Who CAN get braces for their kids. I worked with an actor on location for months, we all got “per diem” or spending money, I am guessing around $60 a day, and yet at every meal, he had forgotten his wallet, or was in the bathroom when the check came. That’s not smart. That’s cheap. He was a jackass.

FINALLY—BLESS YOU FOR YOUR STORIES—-They were amazing, TRULY. I was moved to tears by some of them. Keep sharing them with people, especially people you know and not some faceless nut on a computer. We have all seen the person having to move, or sell their car, etc etc, and we had NO idea they were in that situation, and we could have sat with them and helped make a plan. Which brings me to my final point….TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER. That’s why I wrote this, and that’s what I believe in. Again, one man’s opinion.

IF, in any way this has meant something to you,  and you find yourself going to Starbucks one less day, or going to the OTHER market to get your vegetables because they are half the price, and you suddenly find yourself with extra money to spend, and want to feel great about yourself and want to THANK ME for writing this…then please, please, please, I beg of you, send a few bucks to the charities that I myself am involved with——

AMFAR

DOCTORS WITHOUT BORDERS

CLARA BARTON DIABETES CENTER AND CAMP JOSLIN in Massachusetts

THE ALLIANCE FOR CHILDRENS RIGHTS in LOS ANGELES

KIDSAVE 

HABITAT FOR HUMANITY

And—ANY Charity that helps our neighbors in Haiti

If you are interested, I would print this posting out and keep it for reference, encouragement, or to make fun of the bald little actor, your choice.

I thank you for your stories, hilarious and moving, your support and time, and maybe, just maybe, we will find a way to get a book out.

All the best, WG

….Excellent film by the way…..

I am here to tell you that TOMORROW, FRIDAY, will be my last posting on SMARTNOTCHEAP….for now. 

If you have been reading from the beginning (they are all here if you want to go back and at least see the first one), you know that Sarah Jessica and I were planning to do a book based on these ideas and the themes of this site. We are figuring out what happens next, or if anything happens at all.

I will write more tomorrow, and summarize a lot of stuff, so be prepared to print it out, share it, save it, whatever people do with these things—-TOMORROW. But just know, your stories and the things you have shared with me have been absolutely amazing and inspiring, and I hope I have been somewhat helpful, that was the idea to begin with.

So tune in tomorrow…….I will wrap things up with a nice long one (my god that sounds dirty). And just know, the idea of all of this has been to empower YOU to be smart, save money, not want for anything, and live better—-it’s been a tough road for so many people and I just couldn’t sit by and watch it forever……

Talk tomorrow,

WG

Yesterday I did alot of work on the house. First i fixed the fountains outside. They seemed really daunting and scary——who knows anything about a pump for a fountain really? Well it turns out it is rather simple, they were clogged with nasty gunk, and they come right out, get rinsed off and work fine……also my $2 package of plastic shims from the hardware store balanced them perfectly…….savings=probably about $60, instead of finding some genius who is an expert on fountain pumps…..

Then I moved on to the scary item, the tri-lever assembly for the toilet. Know what that is? I sure didn’t. But now I do, I could even write a short novel about it. Needless to say, you don’t need a masters degree to figure it out, unscrew it, go to Home Depot, get another one, and make it work fine. Savings=about $60 again, although I feel badly as Virgilio, the delightful plumber, needs the work.

Speaking of “fixins”…..Nathen’s school started their food drive yesterday for Thanksgiving. Every class level is assigned an item for the meal to be brought in…4th grade assignment is “pie”. The problem the drive has had is that people are embarrassed to be asking for food in our school community. God, I wish they wouldn’t be.

There is NOTHING wrong with asking for help. EVER. That’s what friends, family, community is all about. Gone are the days (or they SHOULD be), when people speak in hushed tones about someone needing a “handout”, or needing “help”. Just think about how disgusting that is, judging somebody else for NEEDING HELP—-then give what you can, with a smile on your face and expecting nothing in return. Just beware the ones who make a lifestyle choice out of it, just one man’s opinion. “Teach a man to fish”, and all that, or learn to fix a toilet…….

WG

The buyback of candy by registered dentists is a national program, to encourage our kids (with alarmingly high obesity rates) to eat less sweets (saving their teeth as well), and also do some goodwill by sending the extra candy to our troops to give them a bit of Halloween where they are serving…….It’s not a bad idea, just something that would have struck me as insane when I was a kid (it’s not like we had candy in our house any other time, we didn’t), and we had ALREADY done something by sending in our UNICEF boxes…..I would save the candy buyback program for people who overbought and have extra left over, but that’s just one man’s opinion……(Halloween and the bounty I was so proud of collecting as a kid was a little bit sacred to me, so it still feels a bit like Joan Crawford letting her kids only keep one present for Christmas)…….

p.s. Nathen sent in his $22.93 to UNICEF this morning, and was very proud of it…..

Years ago, you could run an entire political campaign on the idea of the “luxury” of people having a chicken. Read that again——HAVING A CHICKEN. That meant that a family could eat. They could roast it, make sandwiches out of it, use the bones for soup, and eat it for an entire week. We were hard workers. And we worked for such a “luxury”. 

Most people I know are hard workers, yes, even actors. Our nanny Lara is amazed at what I go to the store and buy….Mondays are shopping day for me. She didn’t know about freezing meat, like that was some foreign concept to her. Chicken was on sale yesterday for 77 cents a pound. I bought two. That’s how I roll, because yes, I’m a rebel. She thinks I work “hard” to save money——and have we come to the point in society where me buying 2 chickens is considered working “hard”? OY VEY.

Today is election day. And while I don’t like to be political on here, many of you can probably guess where my sentiments lie. And no, the candidates from either side are not the evil devils the ads make them out to be. It’s ludicrous. They are all patriots of one sort or another, as many of us are….I can tell you that Meg Whitman is no more of a patriot than I myself am, as much as she wants me to not believe that or that anyone who doesn’t think the way she does must be either an imbecile or the devil.

I grew up understanding that government was supposed to: keep us safe, give us good roads and rails to ride, educate our children, and hopefully care for our health and old-age. That’s it. Simple, I know——but the idea that one party has decided that anything our government tries to do means that they are getting “too big” and so we should be “afraid” of them is insane. One party is not about “big government” and another about “less government”. That is a complete and total lie in a time when one party is grabbing at ANYTHING to make themselves heard. Listen very carefully. And as John Stewart reminded us this week—-CALM THE HELL DOWN.

Let government HELP you to help yourself. Let government HELP empower you to be able to go out and earn a living so you can BUY a chicken. That’s HELP, not do it for you. Herbert Hoover was a member of a political party that walked around promising a chicken in every pot, and a car in every garage. We saw how well that turned out. 

Vote with YOUR brain, not someone else’s. And go buy your own chicken, it’s 77 cents a pound this week at my local store. 

WG

ps. A reader wrote to me about some dentist they heard of who pays $1 a pound for candy after Halloween. I’m not sure which is more disturbing—-asking kids to sell their free food for money, or a dentist using the joy of a children’s holiday to beef up his business. NObody on this site is promoting giving up the things that make life a “treat”——the thing that would be sold right after we sold Nathen’s candy would be ME, by NATHEN………..

The best part about trick-or-treating for a freak like me is of course seeing other people’s houses. There’s nothing better than trying to look as far into someone’s home as possible while they are handing my kid some free candy….(and yes, for those of you following, filling up his UNICEF box, which I DID get for him on Friday)…….

It’s pretty ridiculous the way some people have such nice houses and then fill it with pre-fab hideous doors, windows, mantels etc, when there are such great finds out there….beautiful stuff, at a fraction of the price. 

One ‘chain’ that is awesome is “Habitat ReStores”….they are the donation sales arm of Habitat for Humanity…..what they stock is all sorts of donated and overstock building supplies from contractors, home depot, etc….and all of the money goes to Habitat for Humanity…I’m talking like windows, doors, construction materials that were over-ordered, or not needed anymore and it can be like 70 percent off, which as you know makes my heart sing…….(couple that with the glorious Douglas, who builds for me, and you are basically getting an entire opera)……

Right here in LA, in North Hollywood, there is an AMAZING place called “Scavengers Paradise”, run by my pal Gillum….she stocks the absolute coolest antique and salvageable architectural pieces from all over the place…….from wrought iron gates to ancient wooden doors, to little stuff thats incredible for gifts, at every possible price point……if you are in this area, check her out……..

It always boggles my mind that something called a “thrift store” is only haunted by people who really need it, or by hipsters who are aware of them. I think it had a horrible connotation to people of my parent’s generation that felt like a handout or something…….support these places, they make people’s houses look 50 times cooler, and I won’t go into the environmental bonus of using great stuff instead of raping our planet to make some more garbage that we don’t need…….

In summary….savings on building stuff= UNMEASURABLE…..finding a great keepsake and making it your own= PRICELESS……

Keep adding and passing this on…..this army of readers is indeed making a difference……

WG

It’s a holiday indeed. After you have saved money on your pumpkins (that sounds dirty) at Trader Joes (for 2.99), and your candy at 99 Cent Store (duh….for 99 CENTS), and your costume that you might have made from scratch (how many years in a row was I a HOBO anyway?)….then please ponder this——-

What the HELL happened to UNICEF???? We put out a dish of candy AND a dish of pennies and nickels…..I know that I am 500 years old and all…..but we wouldn’t CONSIDER going out to trick-or-treat without our orange UNICEF boxes…..

We learned from a VERY early age that literally TEN CENTS could change the life of some faceless child all the way in Africa or South America……what the HELL HAPPENED TO US LEARNING AND KNOWING THAT?????

So, this weekend, while your little ones become ghosts and goblins, or better yet, if YOU become one, take a moment to realize, as hard as it may be to get by in these times, you most definitely have a computer, and at least SOMETHING to eat…..UNICEF taught us about giving and charity, and in a much more subtle way, that putting together small amounts of money can help to save the world and each other….and in these times, even ourselves…….

Maybe if I ever get to be famous enough then that will be my “thing”, just getting those orange boxes back into the hands of kids everywhere, it kills me that they went away——and I hadn’t thought about them till this week——I have a feeling poor Nathen will be lugging one around next year…….

WG

……Willie went to Jupiter to get more stupider…….”——-that’s what Nathen says to me every day. It’s awesome. Of course he doesn’t understand that Willie went to the school of his choice, and graduated in 3 years with a double degree(savings=$30,000), but he will someday. 

Last night was the open house at the local middle school. It’s a huge debate in cities like Los Angeles about where to go to school, public or private, charter or home, etc etc etc. It was very important to me that Nathen went to public school. One, because I did, as corny as that seems. And two, because he is adopted, already thrown into another world, and the last place I want him is a school full of a bunch of rich white kids. But that’s just me.

At any rate, the open house was really great. The local middle school, while having over 1600 students for the 3 grades, has small learning academies within it, and they encourage you to apply to as many as you like. Nathen will probably apply to the Humanities program, or the Technology program. They all teach the same basics and then focus on stuff the kids might be interested in within those areas. They even have a Culinary Academy, which would be the one for ME. 

I have a friend who sent her child to a very excellent private school around the corner from our house here. They went there from K-12, and she estimates she spent $450,000 on his education. He is now enrolled at a local community college for $11 a credit. I asked her, “isn’t that kind of NOT the point of having gone there?’. She said, “I told him, I already spent half a million dollars on your education, you are going to make that community college a great school for you.”

Now I do find that a bit extreme, and you do have to find your comfort level. One of the parents I spoke to last night was very concerned about the size of the middle school, and was sad that the couldn’t afford the fancy private school. I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. I CAN afford the private school, and I DON’T want Nathen going there….the middle school has great programs, is wildly diverse, and is a NEIGHBORHOOD school, all things that mean a lot to me. We all make our choices, and while it is really inspiring that the Obama family sacrificed everything so that Barack could go to the Punaho School in Hawaii—-there was a reason—-the public schools there were crap. But if you have a local option, and it’s NOT crap, and you believe in the community and support of public schools and teachers, then I say sacrifice everything to go to one——again, IF YOU CAN……..

So that’s my feeling on the subject——just one man’s thoughts, take ‘em or leave ‘em…….

In summary….3 years of middle school around the corner—FREE……3 years of middle school around the other corner—-$105,000…….no choice in my opinion……

WG

I had a long talk with our nanny/housekeeper yesterday. She’s a really great woman. She has a masters degree, teaches yoga, plats organic gardens for people, works in public radio and has an Emmy Award for doing so. She CHOSE to do this job, cleaning up our house, cooking for us, taking care of Nathen——because of the ECONOMY. She also, as a sidebar, finds the 6 hours a day she spends here to be her favorite part of her day, but that’s not the point.

We all have to make money. We all have bills to pay. in our world, when you see a ‘celebrity’ on some junky reality show, don’t kid yourself. Our field of employment is hard, hard, hard…..and people have to make a living. I’ve worked as a dishwasher for $3.50 and hour, so every day that I’m paid as an actor is a good one, believe me.

I know a VERY famous celebrity who was having a tough time about 20 years ago——she got a job bussing tables at a coffee house——I believe if you asked her today she would remember those as good times, but I truly credit her resurgent success to that kind of thinking……

On the flip side, there is a father at Nathen’s school who is basically one step away from being a deadbeat Dad, yet he is seen out at restaurants that are easily $100 a person, when his family has really been struggling to get by.

My point is this, not just on a character level, but on a nuts-and-bolts level. If people are struggling, they have to assess what they are willing to DO to stay afloat. Notice I said “DO”—-that’s an ACTIVE word——I’m not talking about looking for a handout or coming up with a scam. In a weird economy, I have a dear friend who sat down and thought about what she knows, what contacts she has, and whats she hasn’t done to capitalize on those things. Well, she came up with an idea, and it’s perfect, and she and a partner are starting to go after it. I could’t be more proud of her.

So, if you can skip the meal out, cancel the membership, skip the Starbuck’s a couple of days, or even change your perception of what your “career” may mean in order to feel THAT sense of accomplishment that you are taking care of your stuff, then I say go for it. At the end of the day, holding on to those notions of insecurity or even “you know me, I have to have my Starbucks!” end up just being a huge waste of time and money…..

Got it? Good…..now go get it…….

WG

I’ve written about this before a little bit. There is nothing worse than the person who knows everything. The worst fight I ever had with someone ended with me saying— “When did you get your degree?”. “In what?”, they answered. “IN EVERYTHING!!!”, was my aggressively snotty response.

The smartest people I know are the ones asking the questions, ALL THE TIME. In my time on Earth, I have pretty much figured out that everyone knows an awful lot about SOMETHING. Go forth, find that person. I have a pretty good idea who to talk to about saving money on a car, or a hotel, or a contractor, or groceries, or a TV….that’s the basis for this entire site. It’s just one dumb guy, ME, walking around asking questions. It’s why Sarah Jessica thought we should do a book about this, we have been talking about this stuff for 25 years (I know that seems odd, as we both look so young and vibrant….well, at least she does). This is how I live my life. 

I see the other stuff out there…..sites about frugality, sites about saving on childcare, books on making your own pillows, blah blah blah……nobody should tell you they don’t make mistakes……why did I keep my bottled water for 20 years when my refrigerator has a FILTRATION SYSTEM?? Why do people stay with their phone carrier when their neighbor’s are getting the same service for half the price? 

My point is, see someone saving money on something, something that YOU feel you could be saving money on….and ASK. Then SHARE it, don’t be the insecure person who insists they have it all figured out, that’s a fools game, and in the long run, a money-losing one. Or, if you’ve been reading this carefully, a way to NOT do things, which is the worst thing of all in my book. “We don’t go there, it’s too expensive”. “We stay home and watch TV instead.” “Well YOU can go do things, YOU are rich.” Ask around and figure it out.

This came up this week with pumpkins. Someone told me about a site called Social Living. I joined. Free. They had a $10 sale for a pumpkin patch. For that, Nathen got a train ride, a petting zoo, a bouncy thing, and TEN DOLLARS off a pumpkin. Then parents told me how crazy it was to buy pumpkins from a pumpkin patch. So they didn’t go. Well, guess what——we picked a $10 pumpkin—-FREE——-and Nathen got to go on a bunch of stuff and had a blast (especially feeding the baby Llama, which was awesome), and it ALL cost me $10——and the others did NOTHING……..all they had to do was ask. Nobody thinks anyone os an idiot when they are trying to get information……give it a shot, it’s a great thing to do.

WG